When Mister Turns A Miss
by Kishofwings
Summary: Kenshin Himura, a successful buisnessman with great taste and style and overall personality except for one: he has NO respect for women. Then the unexplainable happens...Kenshin turns into a woman and learns the hard way what woman go through everyday.
1. Mister

_**When Mister Turns A Miss**_

**Chapter One: Mister**

9:00 a.m.

Kenshin woke up early in his posh apartment in Manhattan, New York and took a hot shower. He hadn't slept much…well that was every night. And it wasn't usually work that kept him up. Kenshin peeped from the bathroom into the bedroom and saw the skimpy blonde lying naked on the down feather bed barely covered by the bright white silk duvet. Kenshin sighed. His assistant would take care of her. She was just a one-night fling, a quick deposit for his hunger for wanton sex and pleasure. Nothing more. Strictly business, to him.

Sad to say, he couldn't even remember her name.

Kenshin pulled out his blackberry and sent a quick email to his assistant, Sanosuke Sagara, to "clean up" up last night's "mess'. He then checked his planner as he put on a crisp black suit over a light teal dress shirt and a teal silk tie with dark blue emblems stitched on in an crisp orderly fashion. He had an appointment with long time business partner, Aoishi Shinomori at 12 noon in order to update each other on their branches of Seiichiro Enterprises.

Kenshin stepped out of his apartment and entered the elevator of his building. As soon as the doors opened at ground floor, his assistant was there with a cup of coffee in hand for him.

"Good morning, Kenshin. Is there some stuff I need to clean up in your room?"

"Yeah, Sano. She was okay…definitely had better. But anyways, enough about my night life, what's my agenda for today besides my meeting with Mr. Shinomori?"

"Just a meeting with Mr. Hiko at 11 this morning and a staff meeting at 5. Also I wanted to say…"

"What a babe!" Kenshin said appreciatively to a tall brunette who passed by. She turned around and gave a disdainful glare at him and stalked off.

"Kenshin, you really should show women more respect, man. Honestly, you treat them like children treat brand new toys. You court them with roses and promises of a long love life and then you bed them and throw them away. You should just," Sano started but Kenshin held up a hand and finished his statement.

"Mind your own business, Sano. Just because you can't land a girl, don't reprimand me." Kenshin said simply and left Sano at the doors of the elevator.

Kenshin had no doubt that Sano would take care of the bimbo in his bedroom probably with some cash and a few sympathetic tears. Even though Sano had an extremely soft side, he still was one of his two best friends. The other was Aoishi Shinomori.

Kenshin entered the office building and was immediately greeted by the sight of numerous beautiful women in short business skirts. He gave each one of them an appreciative look, most already had made love to him so there wasn't much he hadn't seen. He was disturbed by a loud grunt from behind him. Kenshin turned and there stood a giant of a handsome man, Mr. Hiko, with a strong face and long sleek black hair. His boss.

"Kenshin, you are an idiot. I know you've slept with almost all these women yet you still stare at them like a pervert. You're a good person but you really should marry someone. Maybe, your friend Kaoru Kamiya. She's nice and pretty. Plus she can teach you some manners"

"You're the boss of my work not my love life so lay off, Seiichiro."

"I'm the boss of both if your love life continues to disrupt the peace here. Anyways, come to my office. We have to talk about some clients that want to buy some major shares in our stock, and they want you to send someone to consult them."

After the meeting, Kenshin immediately assigned a few trusted people on the task and made his way to lunch with Aoishi. When he entered the posh restaurant and was seated at a table waiting for Aoishi, he saw the blonde he had made love to the night before. She was a waitress here and wore a cute black dress that hugged every curve but when she saw him, she threw him an evil glare and went into the kitchen haughtily. Kenshin couldn't have cared less.

"Still checking out girls, Kenshin?" said a cool voice behind him. Aoishi arrived and sat down opposite of Kenshin, pulling up a menu and started to look at the items.

"Whatever man. Anyways, what's up? How's your side holding up?"

"Going great. I hear our overall stock went up 3 points since yesterday. How about your end?"

"Got a few clients ready to pay some big bucks in our stock. I think I'll get them. And then Hiko gave me a long ass rant about me getting a girl. I don't need one. They'll just nag me and get in the way of my work."

Aoishi leaned forward, lowering his menu so he could look straight into Kenshin's bright purple eyes.

"Look, you are one of the smartest men I have ever known, my childhood buddy and an overall nice guy. But when it comes to girls, you just treat them like second-class. Why don't you start talking to Kaoru again? I know she refused to go to bed with you, smart girl in my opinion. She has a good head and you know her a lot better than the usual bimbos you bring home."

"You sound just like Hiko. He said the same thing. Listen, Kaoru is an idiot. I actually sort of liked her but she pushed me off. I won't go to her again for attention, no matter how rich she is or how powerfully she is. Are you done? Now let's order our food and catch up since last week."

The waitress that arrived was the same girl Kenshin had slept with. And she couldn't look anymore unhappy. She smiled at Aoishi in a friendly way, but when Kenshin ordered, she snapped her pencil writing the order so hard on her notepad and her nostrils were flared the entire time she took his order.

After the drinks and food arrived, Kenshin and Aoishi continued to chat about various business deals and transactions and random office gossip.

After a couple of hours, Kenshin and Aoishi said their goodbyes and made their way back to their separate office buildings. As soon as they parted, Kenshin started to feel nauseous and the world began to spin rapidly. Kenshin grabbed a nearby pole to steady himself and felt his body quake and he fell to his knees, clutching his stomach. _Why is this happening? I was fine this morning…morning…_ And then it hit him. The girl he had slept with…she had served him drinks. Could it be possible she poisoned him? His stomach gave a lurch and he threw up on the sidewalk. He heard people rustle past him but a few stopped and asked him if he was all right. He heard a loud shout and when he raised his eyes from the sidewalk, he saw Aoishi saying something to him, but Kenshin couldn't understand. His ears didn't seem to working anymore let alone his body. He started to grow numb with pain and anger so much that he didn't even feel his body collapse and the side of his face fall flat on the rough sidewalk.

Kenshin tried to open his eyes but for some reason they wouldn't even budge. He heard mumbles of a conversation and he managed to squint his eyes open a fraction. He saw Aoishi and a man in his 40s talking in grave voices through his eye lashes. Kenshin managed to grasp a few words of their conversation.

"Still unconscious…blood sugar and other vitals normal so far…but unexplained secretion of estrogen from…keep him over night and watch over him…hopefully back to normal tomorrow."

Kenshin felt relieved. _Okay, so I'm not dead…but estrogen? I thought that was only in females…well that's all I can remember from my biology class in college…_

The mumbling stopped and a door clicked shut. He felt a large comforting hand on his arm.

"Kenshin, if you can hear me. Please be alright. If you don't, then I'll lose one of my few best friends…let alone one of my few friends. Pull through this. I have to go back to work and inform Hiko of your status. I'll send Sagara over. Seeya later."

When Kenshin heard the door shut, he opened his eyes fully and was relieved that the world was no longer spinning. He looked around and saw an IV connected to a vein on his upper left arm. Numerous patches covered his head and bare chest, catching his brain activity, breathing, heartbeat, and other vitals.

The room was sterile white and empty. Thin white linen came up to his midriff and he wore a slight hospital gown. He wasn't going to die. That's good news at least.

Kenshin heard the door open, disrupting him from his thoughts and saw Sano barrel through the door, his long brown hair on end like always however this time it seemed to reflect his emotions.

"Kenshin!! Thank god you're alright! Damn that Shinomori! He made it sound like you would die at any minute. How are you feeling?"

"Better," Kenshin said in a low gruff voice unlike his own which startled him.

"Well good. I'm here to take care of you. Just rest some okay?" Sano immediately plopped himself down on the plush chair by the bed and grabbed a magazine from a nearby rack.

For some reason, as soon as Sano said those words, Kenshin felt his eyes droop suddenly and a wave of weariness washed over him.

He fell into a blissful sleep until he awoke suddenly, a painfully burning in his chest. He jolted up and saw a note on his bed sheet but no Sano.

"_Kenshin, went out to eat for a few minutes. I'll be right back. –Sano"_

_The idiot, leaving me for his bottomless pit of a stomach. _Kenshin suddenly felt the pain attack again, this time around the groin region. Kenshin glanced at the monitor and saw that his vitals were still moving at a steady pace. Kenshin was shocked; he felt like his innards were being wrenched out and these stupid machines weren't showing _anything!_?

Kenshin got up, pulled out the IV and yanked off the patches on him and staggered hurriedly out of the room to the nearby bathroom. He felt a draft hit his behind, reminding him that his backside was bear and open but he didn't care for dignity at the moment. He was hoping a quick bathroom visit would help rid the pain.

But as soon as he entered the bathroom, he felt his body quake. He hurried into a stall but then felt his body start to shiver and sweat. His mind was going blank again. He felt his body collapse and he fainted as soon as the cool tile touched his skin.

"Young lady? Are you alright? This is a men's bathroom, sweetie," said a kind elderly voice above Kenshin.

_Wait a second…young lady?_

Kenshin raised his head slowly and looked up. An old man with a walker was looking down kindly at him.

"Are you alright, miss? The girl's bathroom is the next door, sweeitie."

_Oh great, I pass out in a bathroom, and almost butt-naked in front of a delusional old man. Let me just get back to my room._

Kenshin got up and smiled sympathetically at the old man, and the old man smiled back and made his way to a stall. But as Kenshin was about to exit out of the bathroom, he stopped abruptly when he caught his reflection on the long mirror. _It can't be…_

Kenshin brought his hands slowly up to his chest, his eyes never leaving the mirror and gave a little squeeze. They were real! _I have boobs? HUGE ones!_

Kenshin felt non-pulsed as his eyes traveled down his body in the mirror and saw not only a nice rack, but also a slim waist, a nicely shaped bottom, and slim finely sculpted legs. _This had to be a trick…maybe those crazy mirrors at circuses or something…_

Kenshin took a deep breath and finally took his eyes off his reflection and glanced down at his body. He let out a yelp, a higher pitched yelp than he had expected. Not only had his body changed but his voice had too!

He ran out of the bathroom, and grabbed the nearest person, a middle aged nurse with a kind face.

"What am I?" Kenshin yelled frantically in the nurse's face, shaking her as he spoke.

The nurse looked startled for a few moments and then smiled in a motherly fashion.

"Why dear, you are a sweet _beautiful_ young woman."

* * *

**Well I'm back to writing finally. The past few months have been rough. From long college applications to the death of two classmates less than a week apart. I don't really feel any better but I'm on a _long_ roadtrip with my family at the moment and I felt like just writing some stuff. So yeah, same deal as always, if you like it please leave a review. And if you don't, still leave a review and tell me what's _exactly_ wrong. I'll try my best to fix it. Thanks again, readers. Till next time then!**

**-Kish **


	2. Can It Get Much Worse?

**Thanks for everyone who reviewed so far and left such wonderful comments! ( Onhiro, sapphireracoongal, gabyhyatt, KenSan1990, epitome of melodramatics, and Lune de Noir) I hope you guys will like this chapter as well:) Keep reviewing but more importantly please keep reading!**

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**Chapter 2: Can It Get Much Worse?**

Kenshin gaped at the nurse as she went on her way past him.

_This can't be happening!_

Kenshin ran back to his room, locked the door shut, and leaned heavily against the door, his breath coming out in ragged intervals. Kenshin spotted his bed and crept into the covers, pulling the soft white linen sheets over his head and closing his eyes.

_Alright, this is just a weird dream. When I open my eyes, I'll be back to my old self again._

Kenshin took a deep breath and threw off the covers. Then he looked down.

Size C breasts.

"Damn!" Kenshin said out loud in his sweet girl voice, not at all sounding as aggressive as he had intended.

Kenshin looked around, trying to think of something practical to do. If this wasn't a dream, he needed to think carefully on his next action. He spotted a writing tablet and pen on his bedside table and quickly began jotting notes down.

** Immiediate Worries**

-presently a girl

-cannot work at company in this state

-no friends or associates must see or recognize me as a girl- DOES NOT WANT HUMILATION

_Okay, so only three worries, though they are rather serious._ Kenshin, feeling better, began to chart out what next to do.

** Items:**

-Find cure.

-Find who was responsible.

-Find money for food and shelter.

Kenshin liked having his life planned out. It made life seem like it was under control—though in these circumstances that notion would be arguable. Kenshin covered his face with his hands in desperation and peered down at his small, size 6 feet. Then he noticed the paper note that had fallen on the floor.

_Kenshin, went out to eat for a few minutes. I'll be right back. –Sano_

"Crap! Sano!"

Kenshin hurried to the door and ran out looking for some means of escape.

Sano would be back any minute now!

Kenshin ran across the corridor, past bustling nurses and doctors and then saw, with horror, Aoshi coming from the other direction. Kenshin quickly ran into the closest room and shut the door behind him, hoping Aoshi didn't see him or worse, recognize him. Then he heard with dread a knock at the door.

"Miss? Are you alright?" came Aoshi's cold voice from the other side.

_Shit I forgot how much of a Good Samaritan that idiot is._

"Err…I'm alright."

"You can come out, and I'll help you to your room."

_CRAP!_

Kenshin looked around and saw stacks of clothes. He was in a laundry room.

* * *

Aoshi stared impatiently at the door, waiting for the stupid woman to get out of the room so he could hurry on to see Kenshin. Maybe she was a mental patient?

"Miss, if you don't come out in another minute, I'll have to call someone to get you out. I'm busy at the moment and I don't feel like waiting."

"Yeah I'm coming, hang on!"

The door opened slowly, and a pair of violet eyes stared at him from the darkness. Then slowly a beautiful young woman in a deep burgundy corset top with a matching belt and off-white skirt stepped out. She had long silky crimson hair and a beautiful slightly tanned complexion. Aoshi stared at the girl for a few moments and cleared his throat.

"Do you need any help miss? You seemed lost earlier."

The woman smiled prettily and shook her head. "I was with my boyfriend, who got in a fight with a guy from work over me. And when I was leaving my boyfriend's room, I thought I saw that jerk coming, so I ran into the closest room."

"What were you doing in that room so long then?"

Worry flashed on her face which was then quickly replaced with an embarrassed smile.

"I put up a barricade against the door."

Aoshi grunted in disgust. "Be careful then."

Aoshi made to leave but then he turned around to face the woman again.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

The woman frowned and shrugged. "I don't think so."

Aoshi shook his head and made his way towards Kenshin's room. She kind of looked like Kenshin…

* * *

Keshin took a deep breath as he made it to the entrance hall of the hospital. That run in with Aoshi had his heart pounding a mile a minute. Thank god he didn't recognize him. And for a second it looked like Aoshi had taken a liking to the girl-Kenshin. Kenshin chuckled.

Kenshin walked toward the revolving doors, struggling a bit in the loose leather boots he was wearing. He never thought how hard it would be for women to balance 5 inch high pointy heels before.

As soon as Kenshin made it outside of the door into a downpour of rain, he ran into what felt like a rock. Kenshin almost fell on his back but a pair of strong arms folded behind the smalls of his back and held him steady. Kenshin blinked up at the person holding him and saw a very wet Sano.

_First Aoshi, now Sano. Great, I just keep meeting the very people I need to avoid._

"Are you alright?" Sano asked, his brown eyes gazing down at Kenshin.

Drop splattered on Kenshin's face, his clothes now sticking tightly to his body in ways that he would have previously been aroused by on another woman. But right now, he felt very exposed.

"I'm…fine."

Then Kenshin sneezed, an odd feminine noise escaped him.

Sano pulled out a hankerchief and handed it to him.

"You're freezing cold missie! Let's get back inside the hospital so you can dry off and wait till the rain stops," Sano said as he steered Kenshin toward the revolving doors.

"No really, I must go," Kenshin said struggling against Sano's grip but to no avail. Even his buff body he had been toning for the past 4 years seemed to have lost power in this female form.

"Not now. Whatever business you have can wait. I'm already waiting for a sick friend of mine to get better, and I don't want to see someone else fall ill right now."

Sano dragged Kenshin into the elevator, back to Kenshin's hospital room by the wrist in a painful grasp.

When Sano opened the door, he found a small task force of officials in black suits whispering hurriedly to Aoshi. Aoshi barked an order at them to hurry up and they scampered out of the room.

"Hey Sano," Aoshi said, his voice mute in emotion yet his eyes were raging with worry and anger.

"What's wrong here? Where's Kenshin?" Sano asked stepping towards Aoshi and finally letting of Kenshin's wrist. Kenshin rubbed his wrist gently, hoping his now feminine skin wouldn't bruise.

Aoshi raked a hand through his thick dark hair. "Kenshin is missing and somehow no one authorized for his release. I brought a few of my men to search for him through the hospital. He could have been kidnapped or worse, stupid enough to leave his bed in his delusion state."

Kenshin frowned at Aoshi. _Geez, what a jerk._

Sano looked about the room as if hoping to find Kenshin hidden in the room somewhere, but all he saw was a worried Aoshi and the woman he had found outside.

"Oh sorry! I forgot to introduce you. This is Aoshi, and Aoshi, this is…ummm…er…"

_Damn, well I can't be like "hey I'm Kenshin pleased to meet you." Shit…name…name…name…_

Kenshin looked around and saw a booklet with a picture of a beautiful woman with white plum blossoms poised elegantly in her hand. In large words were the name Tomoe Kisuke. And underneath that was a small mention of a Tokiko Yukishiro.

"My name is Tomoe Yukishiro. We've already met," Kenshin said with a half smile at Aoshi, reaching out a hand.

Aoshi's face darkened slightly. Kenshin, worried, looked down at his feet dropping the raised hand.

"Is this guy the one who beat up your boyfriend?" Aoshi asked in a deep voice.

Kenshin jerked his head up and looked at Sano.

"No, no! I just met him outside. You see it was raining and I'm feeling a bit under the weather so Sano pulled me inside the hospital to warm up and accidentally brought me here."

Aoshi crossed his arms in front of his chest, his biceps rippling under his jacket. "I see. Well we can escort you to your boyfriend's room while you wait to dry off."

_Crap, I'm caught!_

"Er…I lied. I wasn't here to see my boyfriend."

Aoshi crinkled his eyebrows at him.

"Then what were you doing here?"

_What do I say? Aoshi looks deadly, and knowing him, he would probably beat up even a woman._

"I was looking for a job, and I didn't get one. I'm short on money and got kicked out of my apartment," Kenshin said, trying his best to look distraught about his new depressing life story while he was secretly patting himself on the back for his brilliance.

"Then why did you run away from me when you saw me?" Aoshi questioned.

_He is too sharp for his own good._

"I was on my way out and you came storming into the hospital. You looked like one of the guys who tried to mug me in the alleyway once before."

Sano burst out in laughter while Aoshi turned sharply and walked toward the window, looking out at the city. Kenshin bent down, trying stifle his laughter at his friend's embarrassment.

"Man Aoshi," Sano managed between gales of laughter. "At a closer look, you do look like a thug!"

"Shutup, rooster head. Anyways, Tomoe, you are welcome to stay with this idiot until you find a job."

Sano immediately stopped laughing and Kenshin gaped at him in disbelief.

"I uh don't think I'm comfortable staying with a stranger, and that being a man, you see…" Kenshin began glancing at Sano for help, but the idiot was still staring listlessly at Aoshi.

"Sano is the most celibate man you will ever meet, and if memory serves me correctly, he is still a timid virgin," Aoshi said in that same emotionless tone even though Sano was shaking his head in indignation. "Plus even if he suddenly has a burst of testosterone, call me and I'll come over." With that he handed her his calling card and strode out of the room, typing rapidly in his Blackberry in hand.

Kenshin stole a look at Sano, and saw him looking back at him strangely with a slight blush on his face.

"Well, all of what Aoshi said was untrue except for me not attacking you in any manner. I'll help you out. It'll help me keep my mind off of worrying for Kenshin. Come on, let's get a cab, okay?"

As they were about to leave the room, Kenshin glanced back at the disheveled bedspread. "What about your friend who is missing?"

Sano's face contorted with worry before managing a smile at Kenshin.

"Kenshin will be fine. Aoshi will look for him and bring him back safely. I'll help where I can, but I'm sure everything will be alright."

With that he left the room, but Kenshin couldn't help hearing the obviously distraught tone in Sano's voice.

* * *


End file.
